FAQ – Birth Mother
What is adoption and is it permanent or can I get my child back?
Adoption is the process of permanently placing a child into a family other than the family of the child’s birth. The parental rights and responsibilities of the biological parents cease and those rights and responsibilities are taken over by the adoptive parents. Once an adoption is completed, it is permanent.
Why choose adoption?
Many aspects of a person’s life are determined by timing. I do not believe there is any such thing as an “unwanted pregnancy”. However, sometimes people are confronted with an “unplanned” or “untimely” pregnancy. When this occurs some Birth Parents choose adoption because they are opposed to choosing abortion to end their pregnancy. They may realize that they are too young and they lack the maturity to be good parents at this time, or they may already have other children and cannot take on the financial and emotional responsibility of raising an additional child. Sometimes people want a two-parent family for their child and know that they cannot provide that. They may also be trying to finish their education or they are working and are not able to spend the time that they should to provide for the child’s needs. This leads them to seek a stable, two-parent family to give their baby the best possible start in life.
What will the adoptive family think of me because of my circumstances?
Any adoptive family knows that there can be problems along the road in anyone’s life. Most people have had things happen to them that they haven’t expected or have made decisions they later wish they could change. The adoptive family is going to be thinking about the generosity of the gift that you are giving them and they will be focused on how much you love your baby-enough to give him or her a more secure future.
When can the mother of the baby start the adoption process?
As soon as she knows that she is pregnant.
What is the difference between an open adoption and a closed adoption?
Most Birth Parents and adopting families are confused about open and closed adoptions. An open adoption is when both sides of the adoption know some kind of identifying information about the other side. If can vary from case to case and there are many degrees of “openness”. It is up to the parties to reach an agreement on how much information, if any, will be shared.
In a closed adoption, information about the two families involved is not shared between them.
An adoption can be very flexible as to how much information is shared and it can be designed to fit the comfort level of all involved.
Do I have any input in who might adopt my baby?
Yes you do. Paul E. (Trip) Swain III provides confidential Lifebooks sent to us by prospective Adoption Parents for you to consider and review. The Birth Mother may meet any family prior to selecting a family.
Do the prospective adoptive parents have to live in Oklahoma?
No. Paul Swain works with adopting parents all across the United States.
Does the Birth Mother have to pay legal fees and expenses?
No. All legal fees and medical expenses are paid for by the adopting family.
Can the Birth Mother see the baby after it is born?
Yes. The Birth Mother determines how much contact she would like to have with the baby. Some Birth Mothers prefer to have time with the baby while other Birth Mothers prefer very limited contact or no contact.
When does the Birth Mother actually sign the legal documents required for the adoption?
This usually occurs within a few days of the delivery and depends on how the Birth Mother is feeling after her release from the hospital. Precautions must be taken to make sure she is not under the influence of any pain killer that might impair her judgment.
Can the Birth Mother change her mind after signing the legal consents to the adoption?
A Birth Parent can only withdraw their consent with the Court’s permission. They would have to prove fraud, coercion or duress and also that it would be in the best interest of the child for the Court to allow the consent to be withdrawn.
Will the Birth Mother have any contact with the Adoptive family after the birth?
That depends on what kind of agreement has been reached between the Birth Mother and Adoptive Parents. It can be flexible and will vary from case to case.
Does the baby go to a foster home?
No. The baby goes directly from the hospital to the Adoptive Parent’s home.